4 ~ The heart, the fear and the ego 

Once upon a time, there was a pure and happy heart that felt love for everything and everyone around it. All the heart wanted was to explore the world, share its love and live in happiness. 

The heart approached other creatures with full enthusiasm and asked them; ‘Hello, do you want to enjoy my love together?’ but the heart got rejected every time. 

The world in which the heart was living was a world wherein love was despised because it was feared. Love made vulnerable and therefor it was pushed away, laughed at, ridiculed and taken advantage of. The world in which the heart was living was hardened.  

The heart tried to keep on giving love, but every time it did, it was being pushed away, laughed at, ridiculed and abused. The heart didn’t belong in this world because the world couldn’t handle love. After years of trying, the heart became a broken heart. It lost all its faith in its own value and decided to withdraw itself from the hardened world. Being alone hurt less than the constant hatred. 

While the heart walked away from the hardened world it met fear and ego. Ego looked like the Tasmanian Devil from Looney Tunes and fear carried with itself a large vault. Ego and fear asked the gloomy heart why it was so sad and listened to its story. 

‘We can protect you’, fear and ego said to the heart. ‘Go into my vault’, fear said. ‘Nobody can hurt you there’. ‘And I’ll make sure nobody comes near you’, ego said and showed its large teeth. 

The pure heart didn’t want to be hurt any longer and agreed to the plan of fear and ego. It locked itself in the vault and fear and ego made a protection plan. Fear made a checklist which contained all that had hurt the heart in the past and decided that it would be very alert for signals that would point to the heart getting hurt again. If something would threaten the heart, ego would scare it away by behaving fierce and frightening. As long as the heart was safe in the vault and no imminent danger arose, fear and ego could keep calm. As soon as possible danger came closer, the plan was put into motion. 

Fear and ego did their jobs and the heart stayed safe, but the heart was not happy. It constantly felt lonely in the dark vault. 

Although the heart was safe, it also knew that this way of living didn’t give the heart what it wanted. The heart desired love. Feeling, expressing and giving love. The heart wondered how it could live lovingly in a world in which love was despised. 

The heart thought about the world it shut itself off from and realised that the pushing away, laughing at, ridicule and taking advantage of had been done by creatures like those that now were protecting itself.. It had walked around in a world dominated by fear and ego. 

Some egos were big and manifested themselves as fearsome creatures, others were smaller and more accessible, but they all had fear with a checklist on their side. Just like with the heart, these egos also kept a close watch on everything and as soon as signals appeared that corresponded with something on the list, a protection plan was put into motion. 

Fear and ego ruled the world because they served as protection for all broken hearts. 

The heart kept asking itself the same question; ‘How can I live a loving life in a world where love is despised?’ And then the realisation came: The heart could live a life full of love, because it already had love in itself. The only thing it had to do was daring to feel the love again. The internal love of the heart was something that nobody could take away. 

The heart closed its eyes, felt the love that it had within itself and a feeling of unconditional love filled its body like a flow of warm energy. Unconditional love was the core of the heart. It was the core of existence 

Now the heart knew what the core, the true nature of existence was comprised of, it wanted to live outside of the vault again. The heart wanted to live from the core. The heart asked fear and ego to step aside so it had space to walk into the world. Fear and ego did what the heart asked of them, stepped aside and the heart walked away from them. Full of hope and love back into the world. 

Now that the heart had left the safe vault it looked at the world with a different view. It now noticed the egos who acted as fearsome creatures, the fears who kept on writing their checklists and the vaults that were being protected with full devotion. The heart knew that inside every vault was a heart with unconditional love. Hidden away out of fear. The heart wanted to connect with the other hearts and therefore it collected all its determination, faith in its core and itself, and walked towards the egos and fears. As soon as the heart approached the vaults the fears began the panic and the egos started to lash out. Again, the heart was being pushed away, laughed at, ridiculed and abused. Every ego and fear manifested in a different way and the heart didn’t know yet how it could protect itself against it. Hurt, the heart returned to its vault and asked fear and ego to protect him again. 

The heart was not yet ready for the world because it first had to believe in its own self-worth and had to learn to unconditionally love itself. 

Nobody can hurt me by pushing me away, laugh at me, ridicule me or abuse me if I always keep my own self-worth. Nobody can give me my value or take it away from me if I determine my own.